Need a break!!!

16/4/10 (Friday), I went down to court hopefully for the last time which I doubt so. On the 12/03/10 (Friday), we actually have agreed on the terms of the divorce and an order has been recorded.

After all the order has been recorded and done with, Aaron decided to change his mind and wanted to insert new terms into the order resulting in a delay in the extraction of the court order, thus resulted in 16/04/10 mediation.

On the 15/04/10, Aaron called to persuade me to reconcile which I have made it clear to him that I will not change my mind. Upon hearing this, he became agitated and I knew he will make life difficult for me. He threatens to bring the case for hearing.

I need not be clairvoyance but I surely know his character well enough. And true to my expectation, he not only wanted me to take over the renovation loan but he wanted to change the children’s access, flat issues and his credit cards debts. But I’ve checked with my lawyer and she has already advised me that he can’t change the order let alone bring the case for hearing. The case has been considered resolved on the 12/03/10, thus today purpose is to see if I agreed to take over the renovation loan. If I refused, there’s nothing he can do and my lawyer can still extract the order even without his lawyer signature. To summarise, the mediation is to get the judge approval to extract order without their signatures.

Aaron was furious when he knew that he can’t have his ways and he vowed to vary the order. I know what’s entailing me but I can’t stop him either. What a frustrating feeling!

In the late afternoon after the mediation, Aaron called and demanded me to return some money which he used to buy Naomi’s milk powder. I never expect him to start creating trouble for me so fast and we have an argument. Seriously, Aaron is the only person capable of bringing the worst mood out of me. Already my mood wasn’t that good despite knowing that I can get the order soon but going to court is really a terrifying experience for me and can be emotionally draining. Court will be the last place I ever wanted to step in again... Most importantly, I hope my case with Aaron can have a closing once and for all....

Feeling the emotional drainage, I’m dealt with another frustrating matter. My boyfriend knowing that I’ve attended court and feeling the heat chose to meet his pre-arranged friends instead of me. If not for my friends accompanying me, I will be backed home alone (they have brought the girls to their place so no dinner for me). I’m blessed to have friends who showed me so much concern. They knew that my mood will be affected and they treated me for a meal and kept me company.

The sad part is my friends showed me more concern than my boyfriend. My friends’ advice is that something fishy is about this boyfriend of mine. I too can feel it but I can’t find the right words to describe it. I believe it’s either he’s not serious and committed or he simply treats me as a substitute for his friends...

His apparent lack of concern is really inexcusable and I start to drag playing minds games with him. I decided to take a break from this relationship. If he can’t share my burden at least don’t add on to my existing burden. I believe that God will have the right one for me. I want a guy who can show me concern and treat me really like his girlfriend......